Friday, August 21, 2009

And this was for my first platonic love

Saturday, February 4th, 2006
8:51 pm
Lover's Day
Last year around this time I was criticizing and making fun of the Hallmark abused holiday of Valentine's Day. The week before the day, to which some people refer to as "black (insert day of the week in which the holiday falls here)," I was not expecting anything big, except for the typical card from my mom. I had no plans, no date, no nothing. When I got home after co-op I was surprised with a beautiful bouquet of tulips and a note from a high school friend whom I hadn't spoken with since graduation.

These were my first ever delivered flowers, and they were delivered on Valentine's day. I was so happy, and so sad at the same time. I had been talking horrors about how people stress to show their love for others when they could just do it everyday and not spend money on gifts, like flowers. Needless to say I fell in love with the holiday and with the true meaning behind it, even if you can show someone you love them every other day, Valentine's Day is that special time when a rose, a smile, a kiss, have a meaningful value because someone thought about you much more.

As Valentine's nears this 2006 I am caught in the middle of wanting someone to remember me and staying away from being materialistic and expecting presents, the qualities I had criticized in the first place. Now, however, I realize that my day will be sad even if I end up with a rose, a smile, or a kiss, because the person I think of does not think of me in return. I came to realize that all the times I criticized lover's day I had been afraid of facing the truth, I was alone and I didn't like it. Therefore, I decided to shun upon the day of love and friendship to repress my true feelings.

I don't hate this holiday, I just hate the fact that the person I want to spend it with is already in a relationship. I hate the fact that I didn't have the guts to say, "hey I like you" before; and I hate the fact that I can't do anything about it now. This is what I believe is the reason behind the critiques of major holidays Some people say it is a marketing campaign but in reality they may not have the need to be marketed to and feel alienated. Well, I must face the facts.

Even if I my platonic love is taken I have friends and family who care for me. Even if I will be working and in classes I can still relax that night by watching a romantic comedy that will give me hopes. Even if I dislike factors in my life I must accept them and deal with them rather than masquerading them in vane.

To any fellow Valentine's Day haters who are reading this, take a second to think about why you "hate" the celebration. Is it because you've been hurt? Maybe because you haven't found love? Maybe you've never been loved? There's hope, I'm an optimist. This Tuesday, February 14, 2006, leave your place happy and prepared to say, "hey I like you," to life, to friends, to crushes, or to yourself. In such a jolly holiday we should all be able to enjoy no matter what. In the meantime, I will buy a red shirt, a bag of lollipops, and smile during Valentine's Day knowing that, in the words of the accurate and talented James Blunt, "I will never be with you."